its hard to look and to not actually know the outcome and just hope for the best...its hard to hope for the best when everything seems so uncertain...it's just scary to know that all that is waiting out there is the uncertain...forget hope because sometimes it just not real enough to depend on and all you want is that realness...that realness that clams you down and lets you know it will be ok...but all is lost...spirals and spirals of spinning downward the feeling that is evident that it wont stop...not for you or time but it will keep on keeping on...screams and tears dont mean a thing just to you because you are the only one who can feel or hear them...spinning and spinning down that downward spiral oh Lord what can come next...you realized the only thing that is waiting for you is the end...but you try to postpone that because what's there to anticipate...fear or the happiness it may bring ...feelings you just try not to feel because all that can be right here right now is the falling...the downward spiral...